Wednesday, August 16, 2006


So far, I have very few symptoms of early pregnancy. Which mostly make this hypochondriacal maniac fear she's mere moments away from a miscarriage any if they'll take away my honorary postitive pregnancy test and say, "Sorry, ma'am there's been a mix-up here." Most people tell me to be thankful that I'm eating like a horse and craving only canned green beans (canned, dammit, they must be canned!) and watermelon. But, I am always wondering, wondering, worrying, wondering.

I do seem to have one clearly discernable symptom of pregnancy though...grumpiness. I am Grumpy (note the capital "G"). Today I had to deal with an asinine nursing home who weren't giving a patient her Ativan on time, and thus the patient was noticeably and understandably edgy and scared. I found myself clenching my fists in rage as I tried to be oh-so-polite to the nurse who was gossiping with her co-workers instead of doing her job and who made my patient wait 50-fucking-minutes despite the daggers I was staring at her across the dining room as I spoon-fed Betty her oatmeal between her panicked sighs. And then, there was the driver who was tailgating me in the Hummer as she talked on her cellphone incessantly. I refrained from giving her the, what I deemed appropriate, gesture. And instead demonstrated my wrath by driving really, really slow in a no-passing zone. Take that, Hummer-Lady! And I won't even go into the fact that my Martha's Vineyard salad at Arby's was lacking in red delicious apple slices. I realized I was muttering under my breath, "Where are the damn apples?" only because my colleague started laughing at me.

All this is to say that hell hath no fury like a newly pregnant woman whose scared out of her mind that she won't stay this way.

And now, dear readers, I'm off to soothe my mind with a bath and a cup of chai. In the meantime, be well, do good work, and keep in touch.


revabi said...

I think you just go right ahead and be grumpy!

Anonymous said...


Your entry made me realize that i approach the world like a pregnant woman...which is both ironic and weird in so many ways. You and that husband of yours are both my heroes.

Next time, go back and demand the damn apples.

Keeping you in my thoughts,

mid-life rookie said...

So, will you be marrying Shelby since she seems to have knocked you up?