Saturday, May 20, 2006

Pantyhose, Part Deux

In the interest of offering point/counterpoint in my blog, in looking at all points of view...I offer this take from a concerned reader, who shall remain nameless. He writes:

Feisty, aren't we? Taking on the powers-that-be over the issue of pantyhose. Can't say that I've ever taken on that battle myself. I've never let pantyhose bother me. Me, I just tough it out with my pantyhose. If my boss should ever want me to wear pantyhose, me, I'd toe the line. Me, I'd say "what color and how many layers?" and jump right into them. Me, I'd probably fudge just a bit, if I needed to, and cut off my pantyhose just about 4 inches up the leg and then I'd tape them up with some duct tape and then I'd sure be meeting the letter of the law and there could be no complaint at all. Me, I'd rally to the cause and make my boss see the seriousness of this situation by organizing a "pantyhose lineup" at the office each morning, everyone standing at attention with one leg stretched out, so a rightful inspection could be made, and I'd have commendations for "the most hospicey pantyhose" and "the oldest pantyhose" and "the pantyhose that have traveled the farthest." I'd carry this to the logical conclusion and have been signs made up, signs that people would wear taped to their backs, making it clear that the world was safe for dying folks, and the signs would say, "Me and my pantyhose are doing our part!"

But I understand that you are choosing to take a different approach, a more rebellious one. Me, I'd just start turning up for work with my pantyhose over my head and if anyone accused me of anything, I'd just say, "I'm wrrrng mm panfthofe like I'm sppossfd to."

Gentle reader, be forewarned. To quote the revolutionary lyrics of Les Miserables, "Do you hear the people sing? Singing the song of angry men? It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again!...Will you join in our crusade? Who will be strong and stand with me?...Then join the fight that will give you the right to be free..."

Bare legs unite! Now I gotta go build my barricade...and find some duct tape.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

heeheehee! thanks for the laugh.
--snickety

Amy said...

DOWN WITH PANTYHOSE! I'll join the revolution. I have to wear pantyhose sometime in late July and I'm already getting uncomfortable.

BookishKnitster said...

you know you could fight them with fire and do the garter belt thing and then talk about it, or even more obvious and wear fishnets. there is something about a chaplain in fishnets that just might put a halt to the whole pantyhose discussion....

revabi said...

I think your male commenter has a point and is onto something. Wish I had thought of that. I hate pantyhoses. Wore one too many of them in the Alabama humid heat. I now wear knee highs, and I don't even like them. I hate dress codes. And can you tell me what the heck panty hose has to do with ministering to the patient and the family. I do like using a sense of humor to deal with them. I vote for the fishnet, extreme colors.